Welcome to SAM online, a service of the Sheboygan Art Museum. A tenth-rate museum located in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, our collection is comprehensive, but we freely admit that most of it's junk. Enjoy this "cyber-tour" of our museum, and we're sure that you'll want to visit us in person.

Among the 30,000 items in our collection are paintings, drawings (rasterized as gif files), empty beer cans, pieces of aluminum foil, nuts and bolts, old cigarette ends, original poetry and prose works, old refrigerators, and collections of Web-browser bookmarks. Popular favorites include the lavishly ornate "Egress" exhibit, the bathrooms, pre-Columbo artifacts (the original series), and paintings from all periods. We have works by American Standard, Picasso's older brother, Mary Kay, Philip Morris, Taylor Dayne, and many other well known artists. We are also proud to host many justly anonymous works.

The museum was founded in downtown Sheboygan in 1869, pre-dating its more famous cousin, the Saint Louis Art Museum by some ten years. (For some reason, people always seemed to like them better, so while they got the good stuff, what did we get? We got the bloody left-overs, the table-scraps, that's what we got!) To this day we maintain a warm, but chilly relationship with our friends in Saint Louis.

Opened in late 1869, the museum was originally housed in a three-quarters scale reproduction of the Palace of Versailles, complete with ornate gardens. It blew over in a strong wind during the night of October 25, 1870. Rebuilt the following year using brick this time, the museum's second home was burned to the ground by an angry mob in 1952. Our current home was constructed in 1972, and was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. Or at least that's what the invoices said.

The building houses more than 100 separate galleries, the Louisiana Superdome, and a ton of other stuff. Take our word for it. We are visited by ten trillion people a year, give or take.

• It is the world's largest structure, and can be seen from the Moon.
• We do more before breakfast than most people do all day.
• We serve the tri-state region